Is marriage necessary?

What a loaded topic. But I’m 21 and this is a recurring thought. Do I have to make a stand now? I’m pretty confused and I’m standing somewhere in the middle ground. We’ll have to see.

One part of me says yeah, I would like to get married. It’ll be nice to give my two/four children a regular home with a dad and mum in a decent HDB (which I can get only if I apply for a BTO sigh). It’ll definitely be good for my children to grow up in a normal environment. Life will be easier for them if they are normal.

It’s not fair for my partner though because I know for sure that I will be falling more deeply in love with my children than with you. I am quite certain the romanticised version of love does not exist. Yeah, maybe but for me, chances are pretty slim LOL. We shall see.

Even if I do fall in love with someone, is there really a need to marry just because it’s the norm? It’s such an expensive affair that I would much rather use for travelling. What’s the point of being tied down to another person who is ultimately a stranger after all? Why would I want to live with someone for 70 years of my life? No, I get bored easily. I don’t think that kind of lifestyle would suit me.

If it is someone who I’ve grown up with, however, that is so different. My brother, Ambrose, is the only one ever I will ever feel comfortable with, understand fully and be willing to die for. I don’t want to be separated from my brother, ever. I love my life as it is now because I get to see my brother every day.

I don’t think I would want to trade this perfect phase of my life for anything else, much less to trade my brother for somebody else.

Who knows? Perhaps someone else would be on par with Ambrose.

But maybe things will change in the next few years. Friends have been harping on about our 20s being the most important stage to date. I’m so busy right now though. I’d rather spend the two hours texting to do my readings, weekend date to do four workouts.

Finally, the worst part of a marriage would then have to be the divorce (touch wood). This is something that could be “hereditary”. My mum and grandma have both gone through a divorce. I find that if you go through a divorce, you’re back to square one. You’re probably at 40 and you’re single. Worse, you have more burdens at hand. It’s a little unfair to the new partner as well.

I would much prefer doing the things I enjoy when I’m young, and if there is someone I fall in love with, I would then take the leap of faith to tie my life to his. If marriage is something we see eye to eye with, we should go ahead with it.

It’s true that I won’t be as attractive and youthful (ok I’m fucking ugly and fat stop it adora) as I am now in my 20s, but this is also the best time of my life – low commitments as a student, enough energy to do most things, having my family by my side, no odd ailments, etc. I should be doing what I want to do and spend the time with the people I love the most.

Why would I want to burn my Sundays with somebody else’s mother, rather than spending time with my own mother? It’s such a practical thought, isn’t it? But I’m only 21, 22, 23… once. I’m going to live this life of mine to the fullest, and just to live up to the expectations of the society, my family or to succumb to society’s pressures.


Good night (terrible week with a tsunami of assignments)

Published by Adora

Broadcast and Cinema Studies student from WKWSCI, NTU. Field of interest: Film and film festivals, Documentary.

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